Someday you will discover something about me that will be unsettling to you. Up until that time you will have had a perception of me that was comfortably settled within your world view. Whether you perceived me as a good or bad person, I had a place in your world and you were okay with where and what my niche was. That changed or will change upon your discovery that I am or did or want or some such thing. So deal with it.
That may sound a little harsh but let’s put it into a perspective that helps you relate to what you have settled on before your discovery. Each of us has developed into who we are through a lengthy series of daily events, decisions, influences and overwhelmingly impactful encounters working as fine chisels on a block of granite. At this very moment “who we are” is the result of those chisels removing the pieces of the rock which are not the real you but cover parts of the beauty and expression of you. So it should not come as a surprise that we are not yet all we will be, when the work of making us is complete. The fact that you are a work in progress is seldom argued with. We desire continuing education, new experiences, more personal accomplishments, all leading to (we hope) a most restful and rewarding retirement.
So that puts us all within the same process. We are under different influences and perceptions. So when you discover my influence or response to be dissimilar, you must of necessity categorize mine in a manner which elevates yours. Otherwise, you might see a need to adjust your beauty to include my response and perhaps seek for a different chisel. That is the “deal with it” which I refer to.
Either consider what and who I am as astonishingly marred or consider it beauty which you also might desire to assimilate into your own process. This is not a new thought. We daily read or watch or hear of influences upon which we make decisions about their impact in our lives.
As a much younger man than I am today, I worked many long hours to propel my physical body into a state of strength and appearance which people would admire. I enjoyed seeing this in others and it influenced me. I saw its benefits as desirable. I became much of what I desired. I saw the admiring glances. I heard the compliments. I performed publicly in a way which drew suitable attention to the results of my efforts. Through influence and effort and discipline I became an admirable mountain. Today you will see little of that mountain in me. Somewhere along the way, someone dearly close, whom I wished above all others to impress and be admired by said “Put a shirt on, I can’t stand to look at that”.
I was stunned. I flexed my hard earned physique in the most desired poses and asked “What? Don’t you think this is beautiful and enjoyable to view?” It didn’t stop my direction immediately. But it caused a reevaluation of what I thought I was achieving. Had my efforts been folly? Had I wasted the limited number of hours I am granted in this life in pursuit of vanity? I had discovered an aspect of someone I valued greatly that seemed to be at odds with my perception. I had to assess its weight and impact on my world. In other words, I had to deal with it. What? Do you not know that there is a God and you are not Him? You might have come away from it differently but that is where my process was at.
If at the center of our universe we find ourselves, we might have discovered a questionable core. For I have created nothing of great lasting value. I have participated in many extraordinary exploits. I have memories of great accolades. Yet it all circles around I. At its greatest height it is merely measurable by me. At its lowest disgusting place it is only so in my world view. That critical assessment of my valued accomplishment was one of the most treasured chisel bites of my molding. I had come to believe my own press. I had assumed the value to be great when it was in truth the currency of a nation no longer existing. It was only something to be admired by those who collected the oddities and uniqueness of life as though they were the essence of life. Their baskets are filled with emptiness.
Someday you will discover something about me that will be unsettling to you. It may be today. And when it occurs to you that there is something there which had not occurred to you before, you must deal with it. I had to. I made an adjustment which caused me to seek greater treasure than my own fleeting esteem. I could have ignored it, embraced it or condemned it. I could have seen it as an undue stroke of a chisel which caused such alterations that I would need to expend great resource to recover from. Or, as I did, I could determine that what I saw in that moment as condemnation was indeed the kindest stroke of the willow branch on the backside of a most rebellious child. It was as the cut of the surgeon’s knife upon a cancerous growth; a necessary invasion to correct a destructive issue so the whole might be better and the joy of life extended.
The scar remains to be dealt with; often with great pride; or, as a pleasurable director of future conversations. Its purpose might be to prevent others from falling down the same cliff which led to such dangerous circumstances. Up until the time of your discovery you will have had a perception of me that was comfortably settled within your world view. Now you must deal with it. I learned a long time ago that life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it. The chisels will come. They are supposed to. You will assess their impact and observe what is revealed. I am not much to be admired. I am not such an influence that you should feel the weight of my words and be burdened. In fact I see myself as a shadow of whom I could be and perhaps should be for your sake. All of my beauty is influenced either by random chance or else by the purposed and directed hand of someone who has such great desire for my benefit that they are not willing for me to be swallowed up in my own imagination. All of the harsh cuts of life have sent me upon my path to my current place; as have yours.
The view which changed or will change upon your discovery of what I am or did or want or some such thing, is the subject of this essay. You wield neither the hammer nor the chisel. You evaluate that which you discover by your own world view. You are drawn toward or shrink from everything by the influence of the chisels you have experienced. What you discover is purposed be a chisel of well intended growth in your own life. You probably have a choice to make. So deal with it.