It Pains me to Say

  One of the toughest times for people to share is when they are hurting. Physical pain is often disregarded because we don’t want others to be burdened with our issues. Sometimes we will allow those close to us to see its effects but tend to hide it from those we think might respect us. I’ve seen people go to work in great discomfort because it is a place where they receive a measure of acknowledgement for their abilities or skills. They would rather be resting and recuperating but feel they have an image to maintain so they endure. Some will even go their doctor and tell them there are no physical issues when they are almost crying for the pain they are going through. They do so simply because they don’t want the doctor to think less of them.

   Yet the most difficult pain we cover over is emotional or spiritual. They are different and distinct but are often handled in the same manner as physical pain. They may be crying on the inside but they’re grinning on the outside. These are the issues that cause us to second guess our own abilities to coexist with others as human beings. Thoughts of isolation and suicide come from covered over mental anguish. Sometimes the cause is an event over which you have no control. Sometimes it results from choices we have made. Sometimes we just don’t know. But the thoughts are still there. Why me? Why this? How is it possible? What happened to allow this? Where did I go wrong? What should I have done? On and on and on the questions go, but on the outside we smile and cover and play the part we believe we are destined for.

  We justify ourselves by claiming how much character we have, by reassuring ourselves that we are a terrific example to others, by blaming God or someone else for our issues and by maintaining that stiff upper lip attitude. We have determined that showing or sharing emotional discomfort is weak and awkward and distasteful to those whose respect we wish to obtain. Occasionally we claim, within ourselves, that no one has any answers anyway so it is just as well that we are stoic and aloof.

  All of this gets a great big “HOGWASH” from me. It is just stuff and nonsense. Jesus cried over the emotional hurt of rejection. He openly suffered in agony from physical abuse and mistreatment. Jesus groaned in His Spirit, not because He was having a bad day but as an expression of the desire he had for others to have right thinking when they would not. Yes it is hard, yes it hurts, yes others are going to misunderstand you, yes, yes, yes and more. But just as you imagine no one will understand your outcry, neither can they know or understand your clandestine bravery. You think it will make you vulnerable to open up and let people see your hurt and anger and pain and you are right! So how’s this whole holding it inside and hiding it thing working out for you?

  Last night my 20 fifth and sixth graders in class at church asked me if I sinned when I was younger. Did I do this particular sin or did I do the other sin on their list. I was saved at 26, of course I did, and a lot and it was very wicked. But I refuse to list my former sins because the Lord has forgiven and forgotten them and I choose not to remind Him. Hurt is a result of the sin introduced in the garden coming to full fruition. Openness and vulnerability are Christ-like attributes which allow forgiveness and restoration. Take the healing. Receive the joy of allowing Christ to be where the pain stops. That is why He did the cross, His pain your gain. Tell Him it hurts, this part of life sucks and that you would appreciate not doing this again. But also tell Him how much you love Him for the provision He has made for your escape. He loves you and He will listen. So will I.

SMHG John