I knew when I started to think about it that I shouldn’t. I did it anyway. Instead of thinking on what was best, I just wanted now. So I did it. I knew there would be a price to pay; I had done it before. Still I chose to go ahead and do it. I didn’t want to feel the guilt. I didn’t want to go through the battle I knew was going to come but I did not chose the other path. So how am I or what makes me think I am so different from anyone else who knows to do good and does it not?
There is within every person the ability to do other than what God knows they will do but they won’t. I can. God knows I can. I know I can. I know God knows I can. But I won’t. I won’t do something other than God knows I will because as soon as I do it, He already knows I was going to do it. I can’t go out on the golf course and suddenly decide to hit the ball backwards to the previous hole and expect that I will surprise God. He already knows everything. He knew what the end was going to be before He made the beginning. He has in His wisdom and sovereignty set in motion all things which are necessary for me to succeed and to choose to do the right thing.
So why did I? Why would I, why do we choose to do other than we know is good in His sight? He knows what is good and we know it too. At least in the beginning we did. Time and circumstance have a way of dulling our senses and lowering our resistance. We reason that the consequences weren’t too bad the last time, so I can probably endure it this time. We reason wrong, not understanding the cumulative effects we are facing. It takes major mental battles to restore our thinking to right paths after we have strayed from the right, bent the rules and crossed the line. The moment we found wrong to be as acceptable as right, we jumped off the cliff without a parachute. Why?
Perhaps it is because we wanted to. We are told from God’s wisdom that the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life are the world’s trophies. There is a little ditty of a song which goes “Do Right. Do Right. Because it’s Right to do.” But where is the trophy? What prize, what treasure do we gain because to choose right? We want to do the other because there is an immediate gratification. The reward to the flesh is now. Even though it will not last and we know we will spend hours and days longing for the next opportunity, we choose now. Even though the lows that follow the momentary highs are lower and longer than the highs are high, Still we choose.
Food is often the choice. We know the long term impact of the doughnut. We know the victory of avoiding it. We also know the short term pleasure it promises. A television show, a lustful glance or thought, even the momentary entertainment of a wickedness for selfish profit, all are choices. He already knows the choices we have made; even the ones in the future. It is not His desire that any perish but that all come to repentance. He orchestrates the events in our lives to constantly bring us back to the place where we can choose to do right. Still we choose.
I have friends who choose to drink way too much alcohol and act foolishly late into the night, knowing they will not be fully prepared to go to work the next day. It is their choice. I choose not to. It is my choice. Yet I am not better than they for this. I simply chose differently. I have a different influence which affects my choice. I chose a different trophy. I use alcohol to demonstrate this thought because most of us know the impact of these choices. Some can choose to drink it in moderation and limit its impact. Some cannot. Some can watch movies or read books or listen to stories which have great and wonderful truths expounded while swimming in a sea of immoral thoughts and innuendo. Others have no capacity to defend themselves from being ruled by what they take in. Do you recall hearing some say “I don’t look at the pictures, I only read the articles”? Still we choose.
Truly most folks don’t want to discuss their choices. Not even privately with their own selves. Ignorance is bliss is often the excuse. Yet the ignorance is feigned and the bliss is like a soldier standing up in a battlefield and saying “I will not get shot today”. As we consider the foolhardiness of such reasoning, we ask ourselves like the Apostle Paul did, “Who shall deliver me from the body of this flesh?” Or maybe some of us are not at that point yet where we even want to know. Most of us fall into one of three categories; sleeping, awakening, or living. The sleeping does not know or care or want to hear. They are asleep to the reality of life and the consequences of their choices. They are happy in their dream world. The living have made their choice. They are awake to the consequences and have chosen the path they desire. Good or bad, right or wrong, they are living the life provided by their choices. They accept it knowing they have chosen it.
The awakening ones are in both camps and in between. They are impacted by the consequences and are considering the possibilities, the other choices. They are about to make choices which are already known to God. They are reasoning in their own minds whether it is nobler to follow the desire for instant gratification offered by the world, the flesh and the devil. The alternative is to acknowledge that there is a Creator in Heaven who demands holiness and His unmeasurable wrath as a consequence to sin. Awakening does not mean they will choose well. It simply means they are awake to or aware of the possibility of a different choice.
I said “I knew when I started to think about it that I shouldn’t. I did it anyway.” Negative consequences do not always deter us. Positive rewards are not always sufficient to sway us. Still we choose. We choose right and wrong, good and evil. In the end the consequences are revealed. Each of us must be convinced in our own mind what is truth and what is error. For some a lifetime of error leads to acceptance of the truth they fought against for so long. For some the stark brutal reality creates in them a radical switch to the other side. They had no idea it would be their choice. All the experiences of the past will serve as cement to solidify new choices. The saying is that there is no saint like a reformed sinner. All saints are reformed sinners. It is equally true that those who have left the pious life behind are often the most ardent spokespersons for the other side. Still we choose.
What you choose defines what you are and more importantly Whose you are. We tend to proclaim, pretend, portray and defend that which we believe best supports our choices. Whose you are defines what your choices are expected to be. The best choices are best because of the consequences. The best choices are those which provide the firmest foundation for future choices. The best choices are yours. Still we choose.