And then, as he continued gazing toward the east, the light began to overcome the darkness. It was not physically but mentally and spiritually. After what seemed to be a long Hiatus, he had returned. The grass smelled the same, the breeze was gentle and the dawn was excitingly calm. As it should be, periods of contemplation are followed by revelation and confirmation. In the east, the sky began to lighten just a bit.
It has been a while. With purpose and intent, I have refrained from writing and posting to Worthy Words. Events of life and the calling upon the gifts God has granted have taken a priority place to the exclusion of other joys. That of course is what Worthy Words is for me. It is my joy to write, edit and post for the few who have appreciated these thoughts. Secondary to that effort has been compiling some writings toward a new book to publish. So what’s the hold up?
Holiness. Knowing that I fall short so often, being distracted by the offerings of unholiness and in all honesty, experiencing a recent lack of desire for the written Word. It is not unusual for most believers to have daily or at least regular habits and routines of staying in touch with the love letters the Lord left for us. Nor is it unusual for there to be breaks in routines. You would need to be a monk in order for the interruptions of life to not step into your daily routine. In fact I know folks who declare that their daily routine is defined by the unexpected. Someone once said, and many have repeated it, that when we tell God what “our” plans are for life, He laughs and laughs and laughs. It is good to make God happy. It is also good to know that His thoughts are higher than ours and His plans better than ours.
When we are away from established patterns, we struggle with purpose and accomplishments. Despair is not uncommon even for those who have walked with the Lord for many years. I recall what a relief it was to find that my heroes in the faith were normal men who struggled with the same issues I do. Charles Spurgeon is said to have suffered performance related depression often on Monday mornings after a powerful weekend of preaching. Light and comfort return when we step back into the routines we have developed for ourselves. Cycles are normal for us. During our day we wake, eat, work, play, interact and rest. In most mornings I exercise, usually a few miles of running. I also write most days, even when I don’t publish or post. Routines are healthy, but so are the interruptions.
We tend to evaluate our purpose and accomplishments by the impact on others. If what we do is received well, we are pleased. If not we grumble. Not because what we did should be praised but because we want it to be good enough to be praised. So we evaluate and justify and consider. We question if the routines were right or if the interruptions were good or what changes might be helpful. On those days when we feel lost and uncertain, we are stronger than the days we seem confident. For when we are weak we acknowledge that He is strong. There is no better place to be in all of the routines and and moments of life than to know whether His strength is for you or against you.
So he waits for the the light. It is the light which will reveal and unveil. It is the light of the sun for the day and the light of the Son for the Soul. Soon the light comes.