I’m watching it now come over the eastern mountains here in western Montana. It is a sunrise. It is eight o’clock and it started getting light about seven. I don’t expect to see its full brightness until about nine. Yet I know it is coming. It is not a matter of time but rather how I am marking the changes of each moment I am in. The moment is now. This Now is different than the last now. Even as I write each letter and each word and complete each sentence, the now is. It just is. Time is a convenient way for us, as humans, to differentiate between the changes of each now. Spoken and written words make it quite difficult to express the understanding of the now. It is not about the particular language but rather the limited reference of words. Thoughts are much more productive and accurate but thoughts become words as we attempt to convey them. Oh the interesting challenge of the limits of this physical existence.
I Am a spiritual being, an expression of the eternal divine Source of all that is, having a temporary physical experience. It is called life. The life that I now live is a pleasure and enjoyment to expand the knowledge and feelings of the Source who has created all that is for His own goodness to be revealed and known. There is no limit to the joys of life constrained by the physical realm. The perceptions of only and too much and how long are for the molding and framing of each now.
It is getting lighter out the window as the now changes from the now that was to the now that is and to the now that will be. None of that is inconsistent with all that is known to me about time and events. It is amazing how many believe you cannot know or see the future. You create the future by participating in the now. Words are a limiting factor only because we choose to use them to add another dimension of experience to our now. If I were able to express my thoughts as emotional responses, as feelings alone, I would overwhelm many by the volume and magnitude of the momentary expression of all that is. I can barely contain this within myself so in order to stay within the limits of this expression even I choose to see the words I write.
What a wonderful experience in the now I am having. Joys abound, sorrows are available, expectations certainly take their place, but the feelings, the emotions are very difficult to express. How is it that I am processing the flood on my soul without bursting? Who can know this moment I am expressing beyond the limits of the physically manifested words? When shall I go home? I imagine I will want to some day, but for the moment, this moment, I am content and pleasured to know the experience I have chosen to create and participate in.
Yes it is limiting, but magnificent; Impressively beautiful, elaborate and extravagant. Oh if I could only extend the moment to perceive all of the infinite joy and knowing in each now. But at what cost? It would be tragic to miss the continuing unfolding realizations of each now, layered upon the previous one. Becoming memories and adding the emotions and feelings of now to the experiences of those nows which have become past and are now not now. In this is our expression of time.
It is now still rising. It appears much lighter. The perception of the coming light, or perhaps rather coming into the light which will be the now, is gaining anticipation. The clouds have changed from unseen to grays to ambers and pinks and will yet become white. I keep looking up so as to not miss each now as it becomes. What a glorious experience. What remarkable sights within my soul only to be limited by the expression of the words I am able to use. I think I will rest in the moment and enjoy this creation, even as I am hurrying to participate in creating the next now.
And yet there it is. Brilliant, overpoweringly white, even a glimpse of the presence of the Source of true light. My eyes are stained with the temporary spots on my retinas. I cannot withstand the glory as I blink rapidly to undo the impact I have seen. Yet I cannot make it go away. I cannot undo its impact. Only changing the now can remove those spots and make them a memory. Now I Am fulfilled, at least in this moment. Now is the great pleasure of anticipating the now which will be. Now, My Now is fabulous beyond expression. How’s your now?